ApProval

I screamed into the empty room.

APPROVE ME DAMMIT!!!

Tell me that I am the things that i want to be.

tell me I am not that which i despise

allow me the joy of my being and let life be more than a tragic surprise.

Approve me dammit

tell me that i am beautiful.

smart.

free.

Tell me that I am sexy as fuck.

an artist with an idea of some shit to say,

Tell me that I am a writer. a fucking writer for once.

more than a half decent mom,

and tell me that i am loved. worthy of love. approve me…

please.

will you?

I just want to be a fair person

though i cut corners from time to time,

i don’t think its sooo bad when i pinch off corporations who sell us shit for our time.

APPROVE ME

tell me its okay, to be all that i am and none of what i ain’t

tell me I am okay to be to seen

tell me i did a good job on the mat today,

a great job with my pen,

console me for yelling at the kids,

they wont be too fucked up

Tell me i am not too jealous, too bored, too insecure,

tell me that the life I’m livin is normal and that my ideas of reality don’t lessen my ability to be in the present day and time…

mother.

FUCKER.

please?

tell me that its okay to get tired of everyone that i love. its okay to neglect flossing my teeth

I definitely SHOULD have that …eh…third cup of coffee

And i can wake at 5am as i please.

tell me that all the things that i want are within reach if only i try.

i scream approve me in and empty room

yet…

look myself in the eye.